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Original 'Sloth' Transcription from http://www.hwcn.org/~an933
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This file was created without the consent or knowledge of the
Audio/Visuals team.
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/ \UDIO
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AUDIO ADVENTURES IN TIME AND SPACE
TRANSCRIPTION: "CONGLOMERATE: ON-TAPE"
PART: 1 OF 1
DURATION: 13:48
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THIS IS A ROUGH VERSION OF THIS DOCUMENT. IF YOU HAVE A COPY OF THIS
PLAY, IT IS REQUESTED THAT YOU LISTEN WHILE READING THIS TRANSCRIPT
AT LEAST ONCE, NOTING ANY ERRORS WHICH YOU MAY COME ACROSS.
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MUSIC: MYSTERIOUS
TEMPERON: Audio Visuals On-Tape.
MUSIC: [BUILDS UP TO A STING]
GARY RUSSELL: Now, if you're listening to this tape, chances are
you've bought some of Audio Visuals things, and either
you're a glutton for punishment, or you actually like
what you've been listening to.
MUSIC: [FADING UP] ??
GARY RUSSELL: So, perhaps this is a good time to go back, and find out
exactly why Audio Visuals was started.
WILLIAM BAGGS: Anyways, sometime in - what was it - May, I think it
was - June - a friend of mine and I had this nice idea
that we should do something new. And, so we thought
wouldn't it be nice to get, erm, some friends of ours
together, and do a play, and see what would happen.
GARY RUSSELL: Did you intend it just as a one-off play, or a whole
series then, or what?
WILLIAM BAGGS: Well, we weren't sure then. We just wanted to do it for
the fun of it. There was no intention to sell anything.
It was purely and simply for fun. And we didn't know...
we didn't know what was going to happen, basically.
GARY RUSSELL: Nick? Where did your involvement in all this come in,
because you weren't actually - in...in best "Star Trek"
tradition, you weren't in the pilot.
NICK BRIGGS: [LAUGHS]
GARY RUSSELL: You came in, in the... in the second one.
NICK BRIGGS: Yeah.
GARY RUSSELL: Why was that?
NICK BRIGGS: Um, yeah, I... I'm... [wow] I... I remember that, uh, I
*knew* that something was going on when... when the
first one was being done, and, uh, I was... I was
writing a... a script at the time, uh, a radio... an
audio script, uh, based on the "Doctor Who" format. And,
uh, I *kind* of offered it to Bill, and we s... we sort
of talked about it, and I said something like, uh, "Yes,
I wouldn't mind doing it, as long as I could write,
direct, and [BREAKS INTO A LAUGH] star in it." And,
uh... and, Bill didn't sa.... And also, I thought I
might be doing something else, and... and so.... And the
next thing I heard, "The Space Wail" had been made.
And, I hadn't been involved in it. I went... I went
away to London for a while, and when I came back, they
played me a bit of this tape, and said "Oh, listen to
this. There's this computer."
[BEGIN EXCERPT FROM "THE SPACE WAIL"]
BABE: Good day, gentlemen. I hope this trip is pleasant for
you. A pleasure to welcome you aboard.
JOBA: It seems very advanced. What a shame to waste it on
this ship.
BABE: Allow me to assure you, Guard Joba, that nothing is
wasted here. I am linked with Central Base on Homeworld,
where my original is located. I am but a minute
extension. There is one of me in every ship on
Homeworld's fleet. Can I help you, gentlemen?
[END EXCERPT FROM "THE SPACE WAIL"]
NICK BRIGGS: I thought, yes. They've...they've got something off the
ground here, and I think I could contribute to it. So, I
didn't go into it totally blind. Now I'd... I hadn't
heard "The Space Wail" all the way through, "The Space
Wail" wasn't actually completed until I'd recorded two
stories, I think.
GARY RUSSELL: Hm.
NICK BRIGGS: I'm not sure.
GARY RUSSELL: Was it a bit frustrating for you, if... if you'd done
two of the plays, and, sort of, the first play came out,
and all the [furor?] with it, and all the publicity and
promoting "The Space Wail", and... actually had sweet
nothing to do with you?
NICK BRIGGS: [LAUGHS]
GARY RUSSELL: Did you think "Come on! Get a move on, and... and get
my one out!", or were you quite happy to see how the
first one went?
NICK BRIGGS: I wanted to see how the first one would go. And... and
I felt that... not because I was in them, but bec...
but... I felt that the second one was going to better,
so I thought if there's.... I was interested to see
whether there was a favourable reaction to "Space Wail",
because, I thought, well, if the reaction to that's
favourable, I'm sure it'd be a little better for "Time
Ravagers" - which was of course, the... the... the
second one I recorded, not the... not the first one.
[BEGIN EXCERPT FROM "THE TIME RAVAGERS"]
DALEK: RE-PORT!
DOCTOR: That's what I'm doing! Reporting! That was the... uh
preliminary report, see? We're here, and uh, you're
there... are you?
DALEK: WHAT PRO-GRESS HAVE YOU MADE?
DOCTOR: Good good. You're there. We're here. You're there.
Good. Fine. That's it then, isn't it, really. Well
see you later.
DALEK: EX-TER-MI-NATE THE GIRL!
DOCTOR: Ahhhh report! I see what you mean! You want to know
about the time factor?
[END EXCERPT FROM "THE TIME RAVAGERS"]
GARY RUSSELL: Why was.... Why did you *choose* to record "Connection
Thirteen" before "The Time Ravagers", although "The Time
Ravagers" came out first?
WILLIAM BAGGS: Well, we decided... *I* decided that I didn't want to do
a regeneration story, uh, because I didn't think we
could pull it off. So, uh, we went straight into doing
"Connection Thirteen", and then *after* we had recorded
"Connection Thirteen", Nick's friend, Arthur, came up
with a...a very good idea. So, we tried it out -
recorded it - and it worked, so we used it in the end,
but, initially, we didn't want to do - *I* didn't want
to do - a regeneration story, because I didn't think we
could pull it off. I'd rather just play it down, and,
uh, sort of have... well, Stephen Payne couldn't play
the Doctor anymore, we just bring Nick Briggs in... Nick
Briggs in, playing, if you like, a different perspective
of the same Doctor.
[BEGIN EXCERPT FROM "CONNECTION 13"]
DOCTOR: Ah! Corporal! You've not seen my two young friends,
have you? A boy and a girl with two arms and two legs?
[END EXCERPT FROM "CONNECTION 13"]
[BEGIN EXERPT FROM "THE TIME RAVAGERS"]
STRIDE: They're the saboteurs!
OKKERBY: You don't *know* that!
DOCTOR: She's right. This is nothing to do with me. And my two
friends are quite harmless. If you hadn't started
firing at them, we would have all been sitting down to a
nice pot of tea by now.
[END EXERPT FROM "THE TIME RAVAGERS"]
[BEGIN EXERPT FROM "THE TIME RAVAGERS"]
DOCTOR: Busy goings-on in there, you know. Time mechanics is
hot work. Tea up, is it?
[END EXERPT FROM "THE TIME RAVAGERS"]
GARY RUSSELL: Whereas on the television series, they play the
regeneration really up, you played it right down.
WILLIAM BAGGS: Yeah. Well, that's... we.... I think we were...
NICK BRIGGS: [CUTTING HIM OFF] That was *Arthur's* idea, wasn't it?
[VERY OBVIOUS EDIT]
WILLIAM BAGGS: We just wanted a very good story, and the regeneration
would be part of it.
[ANOTHER OBVIOUS EDIT]
NICK BRIGGS: Arthur isn't really a "Doctor Who" fan, and he...
he'd...he'd seen a few "Doctor Who" stories, but his
overall impression of the.... because there'd been two
regenerations quite close together on television, his
impression was - as a layman - that they'd s... uh...
concentrated quite a lot....
GARY RUSSELL: Yeah.
NICK BRIGGS: ...on the regeneration. He thought, well let's... that
I'm going to try and do it differently from them. That's
what he said to me when I was *badgering* him to write
the script.
[BEGIN EXERPT FROM "THE TIME RAVAGERS"]
NADIA: What was that?!
MUSIC: SWIRLING, ALMOST HEAVENLY.
%%%%
SFX: THE SOUND
DOCTOR: I'm afraid I know *exactly* what it is. We're toppling
over the edge of a time abyss. I never thought of it as
possible, but all the instruments confirm it.
[THEIR VOICES START TO BECOME SLOWER AS THEY FALL INTO
THE ABYSS.]
DOCTOR: Hold on to something!
GREG: How do you know so much about the TARDIS?
DOCTOR: Because, Greg, I'm the Doctor.
NADIA: But, the Doctor's dead!
DOCTOR: Well, for a dead man, I'm feeling remarkably well.
NADIA: This is all your fault.
SFX: THE SAME TIME DISTORTION EFFECT HEARD IN OKKERBY'S
CABIN.
DOCTOR: Hold on. We're going through a time distortion.
GREG: You can't be the Doctor!
DOCTOR: Just shut up, and brace yourselves!
SFX: AS THE EFFECTS OF THE TIME DISTORTION INCREASE, THE
DOCTOR'S LAST FEW SENTENCES BECOME MUDDLED TOGETHER INTO
A SERIES OF LOOPED AND REPEATED PHRASES.
[END EXCERPT FROM "THE TIME RAVAGERS"]
MUSIC: "OWNER OF A LONELY HEART" BY YES [IN AND UNDER]
[NOTE: AS ARTHUR WALLIS IS ONE OF NICK BRIGG'S PSEUDONYMS.
THE `ARTHUR' QUOTED HERE IS, IN FACT, NICK
SPEAKING IN A DIFFERENT VOICE.]
ARTHUR WALLIS: I had, in fact, written a play for... for Nicholas
Briggs uhhh.... It was a one-man science-fiction show.
It was written for Nicholas Briggs, when he was uhhh,
at, uh, drama college, and, uh, it was called "The Last
Revolution", and it involved him, basically, flying
around the universe with lots of horrible creatures
following him. Anyway, he remembered me from that,
and... uh, I've never really watched a lot of "Doctor
Who". I've seen the odd episode here and... here and
there, and, uh, well, I thought it might be a bit of
fun. Nick said to me "How about writing uh... a Dalek
story?", so I...I put my mind to it. He... he played me
a tape of uh... a Dalek story off... off the television.
It was one of the Jon Pertwee ones, I...I don't know
which one it was, I...I...and I thought it was rather
interesting, so I...I...I thought I'll give it a go, so
I put my mind to it, and I came up with "The Time
Ravagers", which, uh, I wrote very quickly [LAUGHS],
and, uh, was mainly to do with, uh, a great big, uh,
blob that travelled around through time and space,
called, uh, the Temperon. And, uh, and the... the
daleks' efforts to try and experiment on it.
WILLIAM BAGGS: We would like people to send in their ideas, and
possibly, we can sort of refer back to them, and get
some of these going. At the moment we've been lucky,
but, you know, we're now sort of running out of ideas.
We're having to go to Arthur every five minutes, and say
"Can you write us a script? We've run out of things."
NICK BRIGGS: Poor old Arthur.
WILLIAM BAGGS: Um, uh we're going to do three seasons. See what the
reaction is to that, and I think that will be enough,
because we'll have had enough by then. We'll want to
try something new, perhaps.
NICK BRIGGS: Mmmm...
WILLIAM BAGGS: We'll...we'll see then. Um, we're aiming for three
seasons of *six* stories now. It was initially going to
be five, but we're going to play it for six, see what
happens, and decide then, but that's all we're going for
at the moment.
[BEGIN EXCERPT FROM "CONGLOMERATE"]
GREG: Can you walk?
DOCTOR: Uhhhh... uh. Uh. Uh. No. Uh. Uh. Hooph. Couldn't
have been a... a laser. There's no sign of burns. Ooh,
dear.
GREG: Not much chance of fare dodging here, is there?
DOCTOR: No. Rather an unpleasant method, though.
GREG: You know, I'm beginning not to like this place. Let's
go back to the TARDIS. It's obvious that we can't get
to the surface.
DOCTOR: Don't give up so easily.
[THE EXCERPT CONTINUES FROM THIS POINT UNDER GARY'S
QUESTION.]
DOCTOR: Uh, a..ah. That's better. Now I can.... The feeling's
coming back to my legs already. Ehh. Uh.
[END EXCERPT FROM "CONGLOMERATE"]
GARY RUSSELL: We have a very odd story for story four, which is the
one on the other side of this tape, "The Conglomerate".
NICK BRIGGS: Hmmm.
GARY RUSSELL: Where did the id.... Why did you decide to get Arthur,
again, to do this very short two-hander?
WILLIAM BAGGS: I don't think the characters have been explored enough,
so I said to Arthur "Let's have a...a character story.
Let's have *just* the Doctor, and just Greg, and a
couple of aliens who wouldn't have to say much at all,
and develop their character in a *very* convincing way.
And, and I think that is the end... that "Conglomerate"
is that result.
GARY RUSSELL: Nick? How... I mean, you went to some extraordinary
lengths to record "The Conglomerate".
NICK BRIGGS: Oh, yes, uh, [LAUGHS]
GARY RUSSELL: Tell us about those.
NICK BRIGGS: [CLEARS HIS THROAT] Well, uh-um, *when* the script of
"Conglomerate" was finished, uhhh, Nick Layton had had a
look at it, and Nick does our recording - he's our sound
man - and he saw that it was done in these subways, and
so on, and he said that he... uh... he said "We're not
going to do it, unless I can, uh, unless we can do it
all down in a real subway." Okay? And we or...
originally we were going to do the *whole* thing in a
real subway in Southhampton - not a...a *tube* subway,
but, uh in uh, a kind of underpass thing.
GARY RUSSELL: A pedestrian subway.
NICK BRIGGS: Yeah, that's right. And, uh, so we spent a day going
around testing out s..s...subways in Southhampton, and
making *idiots* of ourselves, running up and down steps,
and [SIGHS] and so on, uh, and then, uh when it came to
the... the time to record it, we actually recorded it
the same weekend that we did "Cloud of Fear". We'd
recorded it *after* "Cloud of Fear". Cloud of Fear" is
the next one to come out, by the way. Um, and it was
*freezing* cold, and we had to get up *really* early, so
there wouldn't be any traffic noise, and Richard; who
plays Greg; wasn't too keen on getting up early in the
morning, and, uh, we...we had to drag him out of bed.
He was very reluctant about that. And, uh, I forgot
my gloves. It was freezing cold, and my hands
were absolutely frozen. And...
WILLIAM BAGGS: You were all swapping glasses.
NICK BRIGGS: Yeah, and we were all getting in a mood with each other.
And I was shouting at Nick, because I had to have that
*map* at the beginning, and I kept rustling my script
for the map, you see. And Nick kept saying things like
"Oh, stop rustling your script.". And I'd be turning
around saying "No, that's a *map* you *idiot*!" And it
was all a bit fraught, really. And, we...we so wanted
to get it done that we had ignored a lot of car noises.
And, of course, when we got back and listened to it, it
was just mmMMmm. mmMMmm. Lorrys and cars going past.
And, uh...
GARY RUSSELL: You had to redo it, didn't you?
NICK BRIGGS: Yeah, well the whole thing was a *complete* and utter
waste of time, unfortunately.
[BEGIN COMPILATION OF EXCERPTS FROM THE UNUSED
"CONGLOMERATE" RECORDINGS.]
SFX: AN APPROACHING CAR.
GREG: Ah, we haven't got tickets.
DOCTOR: We'll just plead ignorance.
SFX: THE CAR PASSES BY.
SFX2: WACKY EDIT NOISE.
GREG: Ah, we haven't got tickets.
DOCTOR: We'll just plead ignorance.
GREG: Well, I'll leave the talking to *you*, then.
SFX: A CAR DRIVES BY.
SFX: NICK SLAPS HIS SCRIPT AGAINST THE WALL SEVERAL TIMES.
NICK BRIGGS: [SCREAMS, AND GIVES OFF A MANIACAL LAUGH, CONTINUING
UNDER]
GREG: Ah, we haven't got tickets. [PAUSE] Ah, we haven't got
tickets.
DOCTOR: We'll just plead ignorance.
GREG: Well, I'll leave the talking to *you*, then.
DOCTOR: Thank you. We can't be far from the surface. No, now
we're here, we might as well...
SFX: A CAR DRIVES BY.
DOCTOR: Oh dear.
SFX: WACKY EDIT NOISE.
TANNOY VOICE: The next train to arrive at this platform - platform
three - will be the twenty-three forty Trans-Urban Line
service to Rugdian Square; calling at all stations.
MUSIC: "THE CANTINA BAND" FROM "STAR WARS" [UNDER]
GREG: Lucky we didn't land on the lines.
DOCTOR: What do you mean lucky?!?
NICK LAYTON: Hang on.
DOCTOR: It was precision planning!
NICK LAYTON: [Time.] Start that line again. Because you can pick up
the click. [PRESUMABLY OF THE PRE-RECORDED TANNOY VOICE
BEING SHUT OFF.]
NICK BRIGGS: [AT WITS END.] It doesn't matter there's a click, Nick!
NICK LAYTON: Yeah, but he said "lucky" over the click. Okay?
NICK BRIGGS: No. I mean...
RICHARD MARSON: Well, let's just do it. Let's just do it...
NICK BRIGGS: Tannoys click, Nick.
RICHARD MARSON: ...because otherwise, we're going to get *more* noise.
NICK BRIGGS: Tannoys click. Don't stop it, you know, unless I say
so. All right? As far back as [
NICK LAYTON: [UNINTELLIGIBLE.]
NICK BRIGGS: Because that would have been a really good all the way
through take, and you've spoiled it. Uh. we'll have to
do that again, from "Well I suppose you'd better go.".
MUSIC: A FUNKY DRUM CUE REPLACES THE PREVIOUS SELECTION.
GARY RUSSELL: On to the next release, which is by Alan Lear, and it's
called "Cloud of Fear".
NICK BRIGGS: [LAUGHS.]
GARY RUSSELL: What can you say about "The Cloud of Fear"?
WILLIAM BAGGS: Well, I can say that, first of all, it was initially
called "Catacombs of Terror".
NICK BRIGGS: Then it was going to be called "The Psionivores"...
WILLIAM BAGGS: And then I come up with...
NICK BRIGGS: ...But it was difficult to...
WILLIAM BAGGS: Yeah.
NICK BRIGGS: ...fit on the tape cover, I think.
WILLIAM BAGGS: Yeah.
ALL: [HAVE A GOOD CHUCKLE OVER THIS.]
WILLIAM BAGGS: Well, we had great problems with that, and I fell for
"Cloud of Fear", and there were several people who
backed me up there. And there were several people who
were against it, Nick.
NICK BRIGGS: Yes.
WILLIAM BAGGS: Ummm...
NICK BRIGGS: I think it's a *terrible* title.
GARY RUSSELL: It...it...it... it seems - having had a...a sneak
preview of it - it's possibly, of all the ones *so far*,
it's the nearest to the blacker side of "Doctor Who".
It's the most...
NICK BRIGGS: Mmm.
GARY RUSSELL: ...malevolent one. You've actually got a script which
brings out terror to the fore; especially in the Doctor's
case.
NICK BRIGGS: Hmm..
GARY RUSSELL: We do see an awful lot in this story - even more so than
"The Conglomerate" - of... of your Doctor.
NICK BRIGGS: That's right. Yes. The...the Doctor is confronted
with, uh, um, something which he finds very difficult to
cope with, basically, and he goes through a little bit
of a nervous breakdown. Which is a very...very
interesting thing for, uh, for me to do, and also very
interesting, uh, that, uh Allan thought of doing that in
a script, considering that he *is* the main character,
and... and, really, any development like that, in a way,
has to be a trick on the audience, because we all know,
in a way, that the Doctor has to be back to normal by
the end of the story, so he can go toddling off in the
TARDIS, and get involved in another ripping yarn by...by
the end of it. But I was... it was very interesting to
do.
[BEGIN EXCERPT FROM "CLOUD OF FEAR"]
DOCTOR: Sometime in the future, my future, that is - the past of
these catacombs.... I'm going to die here. Do you
understand now? Some day I'm going to materialize here,
and something's going to kill me. I'm just going to
have the strength to destroy my TARDIS, then I'll crawl
off to wait for the end.
MUSIC: "CONNECTION THIRTEEN" INCIDENTAL MUSIC. [UNDER, UP AND
OUT.]
- end -